It takes time and effort to remove the barriers that allow your beautiful light to shine. But as you dive deeper and deeper into yourself, and change yourself, you will no longer have the drive to change others and you won't feel victimized anymore. You will become an empowered and conscious creator of your life experience. In short, if you want outside change, you must first change the map of reality you have on the inside. Otherwise nothing will change.
When I started to awaken spiritually, I started realizing the detrimental impact of negative emotions and feelings on my psyche. When emotions are hidden and disguised, they are hidden within layers and layers of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors so concealed that they tend to lead toward inaccurate judgements and neglect of one's own wellbeing. Negative emotions are, for example: apathy, grief, fear, hatred, shame, blame, regret, resentment, and anger. They are fueled by an underlying fear of the unknown, a fear of the actions of others, and a need to control them or stop them to avoid being harmed.
Nothing is more natural than the urge to be held and comforted by someone who understands our suffering. Whatever the painful situation (a relationship breakup, medical scare, financial disaster, the death of a loved one) we want to turn toward someone who will hold us and let us cry in loving arms.